Cholent Saves the Day

As the days begin to grow shorter – slowly but surely – it’s time to get ready for the winter. Forget getting down the hats and gloves. It’s almost time for shabbos – get ready with a pot of cholent in three easy steps.

1. Pump yourself up to not be a Karaite

2. Read all about how cholent saves lives

3. Make yourself a crockput full

Since Special Correspondent Ellen is the only person I know who uses a cholent recipe, she would appreciate it if you measured your ingredients exactly as it’s specified. If you’re making it for me, I’d appreciate if it you followed the blue edits, your own creativity, and the dictates of your pantry.

Cholent
Cholent meat (1 – 2 lbs) Use a few lamb neck bones – delicious and cheap. Possibly also nutritious.
3/4 cup barley
1/4 cup cholent beans Use cute beans – small and cute wins the day. Pinto beans usually fit in this category.
1 onion soup mix packet Please, please don’t. Throw in all the spices you like but stay away from the soup mix. Just put it down and back away slowly.
1- 8 oz can of tomato sauce Replace with salsa. It’s go so much flavor you can skip the prior step. 
4 oz sugar (fill up half the empty can with sugar and pour it in) No. 
4 or 5 potatoes Finally, something we can agree on.
Half an onion, chopped I’m positive Ellen uses the whole onion. 
Spices to throw in (just a couple shakes) : garlic, paprika, some sort of hot peppery flavor
Throw it all in the pot, put in enough cold water to cover the ingredients. Cook on high until Shabbos, then turn it down to low.

 

Advertisements

2 Comments

  1. This is truly hilarious.
    I will add my comments:
    (1) meat- i use kalky. i dont know how many lbs, about $9 for 6 ppl is generally the case.
    (2). I use barley, but no beans.
    (3). no onion soup mix. stop that.
    (4). tomato product of some sort- usually i have something already open in the fridge- tomato sauce, spaghetti sauce, pizza sauce, wtvr. i never have ketchup/bbq sauce but if i did id put some in. and i always put in a good squeeze of sriracha.
    (5) dont put sugar. definitely not that much. you can add a tablespoon of brown sugar if you insist, but really, even that you shouldnt do.
    (6) i put in 1 potato. it is always excessive
    (7) and one small/medium onion

    that was fun. post another recipe that we can all argue about and weigh in on please!

commentary

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s