Don’t Cry For Me

Onions are like winter – nasty, brutish, and short. Unlike winter, they’re in your kitchen year-round. For those who don’t want to bawl their eyes out every time they use nature’s biting taste-booster, there are a few options.

1. Freeze for 1/2 hour prior to cutting. This advice is based solely on anecdotal evidence, and requires foresight.

2. Wear contact lenses. Tried and tested by myself and Special Correspondent Ellen, there is no preparation necessary. Make sure not to touch your contacts afterward. If you can’t trust yourself with that, you might not want to trust yourself to wear contacts. Ever.

3. Embrace life’s harsh side. As NPR’s Michelle Norris says; “It’s like making gumbo without onions; sometimes you’ve got to cry a little.”

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