Some people wish they could receive advice from their future self. I can’t help you with that. However, for those of you turning 25, I can offer advice from your 24 year-old self.

Boredom: Lighting your hair on fire banishes boredom immediately.

Cake decorating: Writing “Surprise! You’re Pregnant” on a cake is always appropriate.

What do you call female chancellors?: Chancelleras.

Dowry: It’s better to have pots and pans than camels.

Flotation device: If something can’t double as a flotation device, it’s lacking an essential component.

Kansas: It’s worse than prison.

Micro-mini cows: If they can’t kill mice, they’re not worth $2,000 a head.

Open windows: If you leave the windows open when no one is home, bandits will come and rob you.

The Press: Don’t talk to them. Ever.

Schmutz: There’s a lot of it out there.

Spilled coffee: Make more.

Spilled milk: Don’t cry.

Weather forecasts: Weather should come with a reason. Example: Afternoon thunderstorms [insert picture]: You have all sinned so I’m going to shower rain upon you. Peace out.

Wishing you a happy birthday and many more years of wisdom



  1. I’m so glad I looked at Google Reader today. This is amazing, and almost made me cry. Thanks for the shout-out! And the good advice 🙂



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