Imaginary Bridal Shower

Imaginary Bridal Shower

Bridal Shower: A Poem

It’s better than skype –

there’s no need for hype.

It’s better than having world power.

It’s the imaginary bridal shower!



A recent bridal shower has moved me to poetry. The bride, a lovely person, is in a dual-degree masters program. Her sister, the party planner, lives in a foreign country. The hostess is located in Brooklyn. This confluence of circumstances would usually lead to stress for the bride, strain on the far-away sister, and the loss of a Sunday for the non-Brooklynite guests. However, a starkly simply solution was found: the bridal shower went virtual.

The bride would do her schoolwork, the sister could stay home, the hostess’s immaculate apartment would stay that way, and the guests could keep their Sunday free. Everyone would do their part, but in their own time and place. The hostess would receive cash and checks, rather than give out light refreshments. The sister would order gifts – according to the amount of money received – rather than party favors. In due order, the bride will send out thank you notes, expressing joy and gladness for her well-attended and provided-for bridal shower.

If the point of the bridal shower was for the guests, hostess and sister included, to bask in the bride’s joy at receiving a bundle of presents, this imaginary shower would be a stinker. But that’s not the point of a bridal shower. The reason people have bridal showers is to provide a convenient drop-off location for wedding presents. The chance to catch up with old friends and swap stories with new ones is reserved for the wedding. At the bridal shower, you’re too busy trying to balance a plate-worth of food on a pink paper napkin to do much else. Therefore the imaginary bridal shower is ideal; you cut a check and call it a day. There is no transportation to work out, no cupcakes to be made, and you know the sister will pick out something the bride will love. It’s a winning situation for all.


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