Worst Greeting Ever

“Is anything wrong?” is my usual phone greeting between the hours of 9AM – 5PM. Since few people call me, and none at that time, I always anticipate an emergency when the phone does ring; if it is the emergency I expect, I want the person on the other end to know that I’m ready to help as needed. After a few callers responded “No. Wait – is everything ok with you?” as their voices transitioned from conversational to panic-ready, I resolved to change my tone. Now I answer with a simple “Hello,” or if startled a peremptory “Yes?”

Beginning a phone conversation by assuming imminent disaster is odd, beginning a wedding that way is ludicrous. That is why, no matter their opinion, the greeter at a wedding hall will never say, “Hello, this marriage is bound to be a failure.” If someone were to say that to arriving guests, they would be fired. Unless, of course, that person was the mother-in-law. When the mother-in-law does greet guests at the door with, “Hello, welcomes to my daughter-in-law’s first wedding,” one can only hope that the phone will ring with an emergency.



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