— New York City, NY
“Please be aware that packages and bags are subject to search,” runs the normal Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) announcement. Conductors stick to the script regardless of age, race, gender, or creed. Day in and day out they deliver the same warning to the thousands who ride the New York City subways. Then, once in a long while, someone grows bored and the fun starts.
“Please be aware that your personal possessions are subject to search,” warmed up a conductor one evening.
“We are not the NYPD,” he continued.
“we are not the NYFD,”
“- New York’s Finest!”
“But we are the MTA. We run this city. We always have. And we always will.”
Our fun-loving and verbose conductor was not yet finished; he still had a stop to announce; “125th Street is next. Home of the world’s world’s world’s famous Apollo Theater. It is rainy outside and verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry slippery, therefore we ask that you do not walk between the yellow and or orange lines. Please be safe and watch where you step.”
And then, with this final thought, he turned off the mic; “This is a Bronx-bound 1 train experience.”
there is on whom to rely 
It sounds like quite an experience! I wish I was on that train! Train conductors have so much power.. to make people happy and laugh instead of the usual early morning aggression or post- work anger…
Side note- have you ever noticed how mad people get on the train? Touch their bag by accident and they start screaming about how rude you are…. Stand in a cramped subway and someone’s bound to start yelling at someone. People need to calm down…
nothing like a happy train conductor to change that mood 🙂
My pet peeve on the subway is when you are in a really crowded train and the next stop is a popular one, like Grand Central or Penn Station, and before the train has gotten into the station people start saying excuse me an shoving their way to the door. First, people cannot excuse you, there is no where for them to move to let you by, and second, half the train is going to exit when the doors open so just hold your horses.